Seminal Dry Salsa

So congratulations to Nina Garcia, owner of Nina’s Food, the roach coach that won this year’s L.A. Vendy Awards. What was critical to her unanimous approval, according to judge Evan Kleiman, was her dry salsa. Tasting Table was gracious enough to disseminate her recipe for said seed salsa.
The initial chiles (arbol)
Essentially what you do is fry some dried chiles in peanut oil, take the chiles out, toast a bunch of nuts and seeds in the pan, add back the now crushed chiles with some salt, and voila! Seed salsa.
The crushed peanuts and raw pumpkin, sunflower and sesame seeds
In my case, I didn’t have time to hunt down black sesame seeds (which taste essentially the same as white sesame seeds) but then felt the urge to add in some sunflower seeds, which seemed like they’d add a lot more variation in flavor than black sesame seeds.
The finished toasty product
Mine turned out great, if I say so myself. I had scoops of it on quesadillas, on its own, on grilled fish, etc. It’s wildly versatile and it shore looks purty on a plate.
How to make a pedestrian quesadilla…less pedestrian.
Like mole (which is also heavily seed/nut influenced), you could add any variety of nuts, seeds, herbs or dry chiles to accent your dry salsa. Why not cumin? Maybe epazote. Cashews. Toss in a crushed chipotle chile. Raisins. My point is it’s a very forgiving recipe and I’m sure that Ms. Garcia has her own secret touches she didn’t let the Tasting Table in on. Heck, I even added a squeeze of lemon to my concoction for a little acidic kick. I also added more seed and nut to dampen the heat. My arbols were hotter than I anticipated. Ha. “That’s what she said.”

Summer Surplus

I’m harvesting way more tomatoes than I can eat (unless I wanted to do that awesome tomato diet). But it’s been my pleasure to give them away. I’m rather proud of my tomatoes; they’re all flavorful and sweet. All except for the Romas, which are mealy and characterless. Romas are a paste tomato whose high pectin content makes it good for cooking. In a sauce they come alive and you can really taste their tomato-y goodness. My ego prevents me from letting people eat the Romas I give them raw. God forbid they think I grow bland tomatoes. And I only would be giving them enough for a half cup of marinara. What's the point? So I’ve been keeping them, which leads to another dilemma: My one Roma plant has yielded a dozen or so every days which is substantial but not enough to start canning. What to do? From the first harvest I made a salsa, which, while not cooked, tastes amazing.

Salsa Fresca (adapted from Two Hot Tamales) 6 paste tomatoes, halved (around a pound?) ½ medium onion 2 cloves garlic 2 tbsp cider vinegar 1 handful of cilantro ½ dried chipotle chile (or to your heat tolerance) A healthy dose of salt and pepper Put everything in a blender and blast it. FYI, using canned chipotle is fine but they can get super hot. Also, slicing tomatoes can be used but your salsa will be more watery.

maybe enough for a few cups of sauce With the next harvest I had a lot more tomatoes, but still not enough for sauce. I seemed to remember Mario Batali roasting tomatoes so I tried it. I sliced them lengthwise and sprinkled them with salt and sugar and olive oil, added a couple cloves of garlic and put them in a 275 degree oven for a few hours. I guess the sugar might be considered cheating, but whatever. It's only a couple teaspoons and it tastes better. Some people add herbs but I just want pure tomato flavor. Your results may vary – oven fluctuations, tomato size – so after a couple hours, it’s best to check on them periodically. You’re looking for something that’s dried but pliant with just a tiny bit of juice. You don’t want a sun-dried tomato. Pack them in olive oil and store them in the fridge. Put them in pasta, salad, sauces, sandwiches, or whatever. At least, that’s what I read. So far mine haven't made it beyond the antipasto plate.

Mac & Cheese(ish)

One of the first things I learned how to cook was Kraft™ Macaroni & Cheese. As an adolescent, I would make a box of it after school and eat it straight out of the pot with a wooden spoon while watching “Dick Van Dyke Show” reruns. Even though the cheese powder is a bright orange that doesn’t occur in nature, I still hold a special place in my heart for this American staple.

Since then, I’ve graduated to real macaroni and cheese – pasta with béchamel sauce blended with a mix of sharp and mild cheddar, a healthy dose of blue cheese and a teaspoon of mustard powder. But I would argue that the foodstuff that comes in the blue and white box is not macaroni and cheese but rather, Kraft™ Macaroni & Cheese. To compare the two is like comparing apples and Apple Jacks – they’re completely different entities. Apples only served as an inspiration for Apple Jacks. And I should also mention that no other packaged mac and cheese comes close to Kraft’s. I’ve had everything from Velveeta to Trader Joe’s to Kroger’s but none of them can match the sweetish/processed cheese taste of the sauce or the slippery, almost mushy, texture of the pasta.

Still, I restrict my consumption of Kraft Mac & Cheese mostly to hangovers and sickness. I don’t need the MSG (though I ain’t agin it) and all that orange food coloring can’t be good for you. Plus, it’s kinda pricey. I was at the market a while ago and it was on sale: 3 boxes for 4 dollars. I thought, “Damn! I remember when it was 3 for a dollar!” A split second later, I realized that I’m an old man. All I needed to complete the picture was a cane that I could shake in my clenched fist. “Why in my day…”

But this past Sunday I was at Target in the bargain bulk section (I didn’t know that was a section either) and they had various Kraft products on sale – 4 packs for $2.39. In fact, Kraft offers 33 different Macaroni & Cheese products, everything from Easy Mac to Bistro Deluxe Creamy Portobello Mushroom Mac & Cheese. That day Target had three different offerings – Thick & Creamy, Spirals & Cheese and Whole Grain. I figured that for $.60 a box, I could relive my youth. How could I not buy it? But the Thick & Creamy sounded disgusting and the Spirals & Cheese had half an ounce less pasta than the other boxes so I was forced to go with the Whole Grain. Plus, because it’s made with 50% whole grain (shouldn’t they call it Half Grain?), it’s healthy, right? I get 5 grams of fiber per serving, gosh darn it! Never mind the 590mg of salt and all that sodium tripolyphosphate.

Long story short, in the past three days I’ve eaten three boxes of Whole Grain Macaroni & Cheese (think of all that fiber!). It’s almost indistinguishable from the regular stuff - the pasta’s slightly grainier - and the bright orange sauce hasn’t changed a bit. Of course, everybody augments their mac and cheese a bit – a few dashes of Tabasco, bread crumbs, a can of tuna, etc. Me, I toss in a handful of whatever cheese is at hand. Today it was a little mozzarella and some asiago.

Good And here’s my big secret: a giant blop of salsa on the side. I take a bit of cold salsa and hot pasta in every bite. It may sound gross but it’s actually totally boss. A mix of temperatures, textures and flavors (see McDLT). Still sounds gross? Try it on New Year’s Day or some other post-drinking morning. I guarantee it will taste like manna from heaven. Especially with a leftover beer. Better