This Is Why I'm (getting) Fat

Yes, I’ve even eaten Domino’s Three Cheese Mac-N-Cheese. I hate myself.

If mac & cheese is on a restaurant menu, I will order it. In my mind I rationalize eating such a rich and caloric dish as my duty in the never ending search for the platonic ideal of macaroni and cheese, but in truth I just like cheese and noodles in almost any form (as evinced by my previous post).

I enjoy my boxed Kraft almost as much as my own recipe, which until recently was béchamel sauce with tons of cheese and maybe a little roasted garlic and a pinch of dried mustard. It’s pretty good but the quality changes based on what cheese I have on hand and how much I decide to use. Sometimes I overheat the cheese or use too much of it which can make the proteins coagulate which results in a grainy sauce.

I always tell myself to keep track of my hits and misses so that I can get consistent results but it’s like, how consistent can a “cup of grated cheese” be from one time to the next? So recently I bought a kitchen scale and set about to make my cooking more uniform. It makes a big difference and it only cost $20. I highly suggest getting one.

Lynn Rossetto Casper: my new culinary muse, I guess

And then I heard mention of a mac & cheese recipe on “The Splendid Table” cooking show on public radio. When it comes to a dish as routine as this, I tend to pooh-pooh recipes so but the technique was different and the host spoke of it so glowingly. The recipe takes a custard approach to bind the pasta as opposed to the starch-driven béchamel style plus she uses cream cheese to help keep it smooth.

I was skeptical so I decided to make a version of each keeping all ingredients the same otherwise. In the béchamel version, I didn’t use cream cheese and instead added an equal amount of Monterey Jack.

Egg version on the left - can't you tell?

At a friend’s soiree, people said they enjoyed both equally, but the béchamel version went more quickly. The flavors were similar but I found the béchamel version to be gummy while with the other one the sharpness of the cheese was more prominent. I liked the custard version better. I don’t know why people finished off the other one first. Maybe it was in a prettier dish. More likely they were too drunk to care.

My friends are less discerning in party mode

I also like how the custard version holds its shape better. It makes for prettier serving. Lastly, this method is much less time intensive. You put everything in a blender, pour it over pasta, bake. Easy, peasy. My only problem was the amount of raw onion called for in the Splendid Table recipe made both versions overpoweringly oniony. Me not like.

So I set about to come up with a more definitive version that would allow for flexibility and not give you dragon breath. Here are the basic rules:

• For every half pound of dried pasta add use half a pound of sharp cheeses – a blend of aged cheddar, Asiago, gruyere, etc. Whatever floats your boat.
• For each half pound of dried pasta, use one cup of milk, one egg and four ounces of a creamy, smooth cheese, i.e. cream cheese, Fontina, or even Velveeta. I also add a little dried mustard, a bit of paprika and/or cayenne and a clove of raw or roasted garlic.
• If I’m feeling sassy, I’ll toss in a nugget of blue cheese for a little extra punch.
• Where the Splendid Table version uses 3/4 of a raw onion, I just use half and sauté it beforehand to get the stink out.
• Elbow macaroni works best. Its thinner skinned than the traditional pasta shapes which makes for a more tender bite. It’s more Amurican.

Cheese smoothie!

Blend everything together, mix it with cooked pasta in a casserole dish, then top it with more cheese and bread crumbs and bake until nicely crusted.

What could be better than this?

It’s the best mac & cheese I’ve made by far. I think the starch in the béchamel dampens the cheese flavor whereas this version heightens it. Or maybe it's good because I finally used a scale and got some consistency. Or maybe I’m talking out my butt and I owe my thanks to the cloying-voiced lady on public radio for providing such a good recipe. Ugh. No, it’s got to be the scale.

Please share your thoughts on the subject. I love discussing macaroni and cheese almost as much as I love eating it.

Jamie Oliver: This Is Why You're Fat

Jamie Oliver apparently ate his $100,000 prize money

At the most recent TED Conference (technology, entertainment and design), celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver was given some kind of award for his work in food and obesity education. How that connects with technology, entertainment or design, I’m not quite sure, but he’s hip and telegenic so he fits right in.

To encapsulate his 18-minute talk: people are fat because they stopped cooking food and eat processed crap instead. Nothing groundbreaking, but the message is delivered with Oliver’s manic enthusiasm so it’s fairly watchable without being too sanctimonious. The presentation happens to coincide nicely with his upcoming TV show, “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution,” where he goes to America’s most unhealthy city and tries to get them to eat a green vegetable. He is so sucking in his gut.

He makes a couple interesting points: At the 11:15 mark he plays a clip from his show where kids in a kindergarten class are unable to identify beets, cauliflower, eggplants and even tomatoes and potatoes. He believes that people won’t eat food that they can’t identify and will therefore never eat healthily unless they’re better educated. Fair enough. A companion to Michael Pollan’s rule, “Don’t eat anything that your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food.”

an ABC promo for the show

Continuing, Oliver maintains that for the past three generations, the family tradition of cooking skills being passed down has ended. His goal as an educator is to get every child to learn 10 recipes so that they can live independently, healthily and economically as adults. Neat idea. As a kid, I learned to make soup from a can of V8 juice – add Worcestershire sauce and Parmesan cheese from a green tube et voilà! In high school, I took Independent Living where I made an apron and learned how to make (bad) bran muffins. So by the time I turned 18 I could make really salty soup and greasy baked rocks. Two recipes - 20% of the way to an independent life according to Jamie Oliver’s vision.

Obviously, he doesn’t mean a specific list of exactly 10 dishes, but these are what I would choose:

• Spaghetti sauce – that just seems like a gimme. It’s cheap and easy and everyone likes it.
• Chili – Again, cheap and easy. Feed a family of 4 for a few bucks.
• Stir fry – I suppose this is more of a technique than a recipe but it’s healthy and has infinite variations.
• Rice – This could accompany the above two recipes, I suppose. Billions of non-Americans subsist on rice. We can, too.
• Roasted chicken – I’m not a huge chicken eater, but I like a good roast chicken. Plus, you can scale this up for a turkey and be the star of every Thanksgiving.
• Pasta – Here, I specifically mean the Italian method of sautéing a few ingredients and then adding pasta and some pasta water in the last minute of cooking. It’s one of the first things I learned how to cook well. Essentially the Italian version of stir fry.
• Steak – This is technique more than recipe, but good to know for cookouts and hot dates.
• Meat stew – Knowing how to braise is a cheap way to live well.
• Chicken soup – So people don’t waste their roast chicken carcasses.
• Macaroni & cheese – Yes, this is a dish that contributes to American obesity, but, come on, can’t we live a little? We have Chef Jamie's blessing.

Did I miss any?